If you are new to swinging, you would want to access as many resources as possible to get to know the lifestyle better. Internet is always the best place to find these resources; there are several sites, including this one, that will be more than glad to provide you with all the information you need about swinging. However, I found a book that is a must-read for every swinger, especially couples new to swinging. Terry Gould’s “A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers” will give you insights on social, psychological, and cultural aspects of swinging.

I also see this book as a great starting place for non-swingers who just want to understand the lifestyle. Terry Gould published an article about swinging community before he published this book. In the article, he took a completely different, rather negative, approach to the lifestyle and he ended up creating negative public opinion about swinging community. However, this book is his way to seek redemption; he admits that his precious approach was wrong. Gould took a closer look on the swinging lifestyle and discovered a lot of interesting facts. These facts are exactly what swingers have been trying to explain to the public, that the lifestyle is not as bad as perceived.

Gould’s point of view in “A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers” remains neutral, but he did brought up several interesting facts that will help people understand what swinging is really about. It is an unusual book, but it will be well worth reading.

There is a big misconception about swinging: it is considered to be a form of polyamory or even another excuse to allow cheating. When compared to polyamory, swinging is something entirely different. Polyamory is basically an act of loving more than one person at once. Swinging, on the other hand, bases its activities on the fact that you love your spouse, and only your spouse, greatly; the sexual activities are just recreational and it will in fact bring positive influences to the relationship itself.

For years members of the swinging community have crossed to polyamory, and vice versa. The lifestyles, despite the fact that they are entirely different, are indeed very close in practice. Still, considering swinging to be a form of polyamory is simply ridiculous. Swinging community sees sex as more of social and recreational activities between couples, and that is the thin red line. Polyamory applies completely different principles, stating that you can love and have relationships with many people at once.

It gets even more absurd when swinging is considered to be an excuse to allow cheating. I’m not saying that there are no people out there using swinging as an excuse — I am fortunate enough to meet two of the who tried, but never succeeded — but cheating involves deceits while swinging stresses on openness and complete disclosure; again, a totally different concept.

All and all, swinging is simply swinging, a lifestyle based on love and trust where couples can have recreational sex and explore their fantasies without the risk of hurting their spouses or ruining their relationships.

Swinging is a very dynamic lifestyle. Things are changing and they are changing fast; in order to keep up you need to be able to adapt to these changes. What you and your spouse are comfortable now may not provide the same comfort later. Even variations are part of swinging and you need to be able to adjust yourself to these variations as well.

Adapting to changes in swinging is not a rocket science. You have an open mind to begin with, and all you need to do is be sensitive to changes around you and adjust. If you see your spouse acting differently towards the regular swinging activities, try to approach them and talk openly about how each of you feels. By being sensitive you are allowing yourself to capture the changes faster, thus enabling you to adapt to it just as fast.

There are also times when you need to stop swinging, either for a while or permanently. By training yourself to be sensitive, you will be able to see these times early and act accordingly. Your spouse, or even yourself, may no longer feel comfortable with swinging; by spotting the trouble early you can get out of the lifestyle while both of you are still happy and have great memories.

Adapting to changes in swinging is definitely a skill that can be developed. Just be more sensitive to your spouse and your surroundings, and you will be able to spot changes and adapt to it faster in no time.